It's been forever since I've been on here.. kinda forgot.
I wonder if any of you are still out there...?
Quinnie? Thea? LT?
haha. either way, I'ma start writing again..
just not right now.
I have to pee pretty bad.
overshare FTW !!
"I never want to bruise your heart, let alone break it."
Pah. Fucking load of bull.
Whoever said that men are only after one thing was goddamned right.
RIP Lauren's dignity and self-respect.
I want people to be more honest with me in the future. For example, instead of saying the above, what should have been said was "I want to offer to meet up with you a thousand times then ditch you and aplogise each time and be sweet and fool you into thinking that you mean something to me so that you trust me, then invite you over for sex, rip out your heart, stomp the fuck all over it, then offer the tattered remains back to you in a dirty paper bag."
Burn in hell.
Her every word was in italics
As it would fall from her lips
The walls made of broken promises
He hoped this wouldn't be his
too much has happened to explain.
instead, here's a picture. Worth a thousand words, right?
That's my boy, Luke (once, 'Lip Ring Boy') and his gorgeous eyes. Oh, yeah, and me, with orange hair FTW.
I can sum up my neighbors for you in one word: weird. All of them.
on one side, we have a middle-aged woman. Past middle aged, really, she's about sixty. She's hardly ever home, but when she is, she's always wearing pink. Look out the window, and you'll cop a sight of her gardening in bright pink skin tight leggings. When she hangs out the washing, it's mainly pink.
She also gardens a lot, which is okay. She has a really nice garden. But this one time she had like twelve massive bags of fertilizer sitting under her porch for months, so she's probably a terrorist.
The people who lived there before her built the house, they were a bit stupid. They too were hardly ever home, but when they were out the house alarm was always set on super sensitive, and the wind rattling the curtains would set it off all the time. they were stupid because they built a 2 storey house with no stairs. The front door leads on to upstairs, as with our house, because we're on the side of a hill. but the only way to get to the downstairs in that house is to go around the back. Weird.
On the other side, there used to live a middle aged woman who was fat, and her drug addict son, who was creepy. but they were okay, because they never went outside, which is good for me. because one of my bedroom windows looks directly in to their back yard, so anyone standing in the back yard, on their balcony, or in their living room, could see directly in to my room. but they didn't so that was okay. Except for that time the drug guy and someone else tried to break in to Lachy's car while it was in my driveway. That wasn't cool.
Recently this new guy moved in next door. he's quite young, like twenty five maybe? i thought this would be okay, because he might end up being my only normal neighbor. But. This one day I was in my room, and seeing as this guy had only just moved in i was kinda still used to no-one ever being outside next door. I flung my curtains open while in nothing but my underwear, to find my next door neighbor standing in his yard looking straight at me.
That was awkward.
This other time i came home from work and he was outside watering his garden in the pouring rain. That when i really knew he was weird.
- Music:Hot Chip // Ready for the Floor, && The Bravery // Swollen Summer
So yesterday I'm cleaning my room, and I find a bottle of Stones under my bed. I opened it up to smell, just because I'd forgotten what it was like. It reminded me so much of the good times. the old times.
So i took a swig. or several.
Rented some movies, too. Amelie, Virgin Suicides, Big Fish, Zoolander and Thumbsucker.
so my friday night pretty much consisted of me drinking Stones straight from the bottle, crying the entire way through Thumbsucker and Amelie, hoping josh would call and everything would be better again.
he didn't. So then i went to bed.
You know what? I got invited out last night, too. And that party is continuing tonight. And I'm not going, because I feel like shit. Oh, and i have this little thing called work in the morning.
boys fucking suck.
- Music:C'mere // Interpol
I completely forgot to update about Melbourne!!
on the 28th and 29th of Feb, myself, Booms, Jase and Anya all went to melbourne to see Incubus play at the Palais theatre. It was incredibly awesome beyond any imagining. It rained a lot and I spent many moneys at Spencer street DFO.
Pictures can be located on teh myspace.
hmm. Ohh, my dream. Last night, I had a dream, It started out with me playing WoW with a bunch of my friends. I can't remember if any of them were real people though. Anyway, that kinda turned in to me building little villages. There were three of them. And then the villages were real, and I was in them, and there were people doing villagey things.. and then these other people came.. (it's all very vague, you see.) and ruined the villages one by one, chopping down the little village houses and killing all the people and whatnot. Just as it got to the bit where they're about to kill me, the dream twists again, and we're on a stage, acting in a play. the curtain goes down and it's interval. It's going to be a really long interval, too. Then I'm in the green room talking to people, and meagly is there, and we're talking about how cool it is that we have a house to ourselves, but how it's kinda not so awesome because my cousin is coming to stay with us for a while. Then my cousin arrives.. (she's not my real cousin. I have no cousins like this. But dream-cousin is a girl, about my age, with dark hair, kinda loud and annoying. Pretty much exactly like the loud annoying girl in my History class.).. and she's talking loudly. She and Meagly and I decide that there's still enough time left in the interval to go get slushies. So we leave and walk across the road, and there's a seven eleven there, looking exactly like the one in st. Kilda that we went to after Incubus. I went to get an orange slushie, but there was no little lever thing for the orange one. So I decide grape will do, but the grape flavoured one won't come out when I pull the lever. I look back at the orange one, and a lever has appeared. So i get that and I also buy a cherry ripe, which happens to be one of my favourite chocolates ever. I turn around, and all of a sudden I'm locked in a rather roomy prison cell, all dark damp concrete with iron bars, like the ones in the prison at the start of Silence of the Lambs. For some reason I've still got my orange slushie, but not my cherry ripe. Back at the theatre people are starting to wonder where I am, because the interval for the play is almost over. And then I wake up.
Well, Josh and I are back together. have been for a few days now.
Today I found out about Courtney.
A girl. A thin, very pretty girl in his English class that he's interested in. Sending emails, generally just tuning her.
I figure if, after only being broken up a week, he's already thinking of asking another chick out, he's probably not as into me as he says he is.
Why do boys hurt so much?
Gahh. I don't know what's going on right now.
I know I'm pretty happy, because usually I don't feel like this, so I figure it must be general happy-causing-feelings, which is good and fun.
But my feelings.. meh.
Things with Josh are complicated. I mean, we're friends.. and occasionally we get in to fights and he makes me cry, but then we get over it. And it's like, most days I'm over him, but then some days I really miss him, and I think he might miss me too. Last night we had a conversation at a point where neither of us were really thinking straight and he said "take me back if I ever ask."
I think I managed to dodge it successfully though. Dodge, because I'm really entirely not sure. And then there's the whole Marko-attempting-to-wait-an-entire-year for me and I think God, if you do exist, why make such a heavenly creature, gorgeous and funny and so unbelievably in to me as he seems to be, live so far away? Or perhaps it is I that lives too far away. Either way, there's a gap, and I dislike it. I'm also kinda surprised by the fact that instead of just letting this be a friendship thing and going out and getting many, many girls as his aura of sexy could definitely accomplish, he is talking to, and waiting for, a girl he hasn't even met yet. I'm kinda glad, though. But maybe I actually dreamed him up. or MAYBE he's actually a freaky stalker fifty-year-old pedophile and that's why he seems so perfect. That'd be in accordance with how LC luck is supposed to pan out, so it's not impossible.
school is pretty good. I look forward to going, which is new for me. And I have no desire to miss classes, which is also new. I love history and drama, and studies is really interesting, even if there is a slightly-attractive-dickhead-looking-guy-who-is-younger-than-me who always seems to sit directly across from me and make eye contact at weird moments. I accidentally flashed him my knickers across the room yesterday, because I forgot I was wearing a short dress, whoops. Writing is.. well.I guess i just don't like my teacher. other than that it's ok, because the class just seems to be everyone sitting and doing their own thing, not structured like 'do this here and write this and this has to be exactly this long' kinda thing, which pleases me. There's also a boy in my history class whom I've sat with on a number of occasions, and is quite attractive, but in a pretty, familiar kind of way, It's hard to explain. He went to St. Virgils, so we had a nice chat about that. Then I mentioned I was in grade twelve and he got kinda disappointed so I don't know what that means. But he plays the saxophone. I like making new friends. In the history role play next week I am the assistant to both the Secretary of State and the Ambassador of Russia. We've decided to ally with Germany, so I'll let you know how that pans out. Our motto is 'We Eat Children', which was thought up by the Ambassador, so it should be an interesting day.
I bought many, many lollies today and I regret it. Anyone want to eat several bags of gummi cola bottles? I've got enough.
Today the person in the canteen line before me took the last ham and salad roll on a white roll, so I had to get a seeded brown one, and it was actually quite pleasing. Perhaps from now on I'll continue to get it on brown.
The best thing to buy from Kmart with $2 is a box of sesame street bandaids.